On Accepting Love When You Have Been Conditioned To Question It by Mina Foutch

By now, love feels like the rusted over 

handlebars of a bicycle. 

A familiar place of unpretty age

and the resistance to touch. 

It is the years gone by 

and the times you were told to leave 

your heart at the door, 

(along with your coat, sensibility and handbag) 

and to enter this house 

without wondering why the counters are so polished. 

By now, love is so forgettable 

it is the smooth scent of September. 

It is a funny accent on an untrained tongue. 

It is a match doused in sink water 

that is put to a candle and told to make fire. 

You have felt love in so many ways 

with so many ruthless endlings 

that you have started to peel apart your own brain. 

You have started to ask yourself 

why rosebuds must wait for rain 

in order to grow into something with thorns. 

And when the thought of love creeps 

its way back into your room at night, 

you ponder the way you are good at molding 

your clay body into something for others 

to use and stick on a shelf. 

And the way you are good at giving 

your heart away in full sentences 

at 100 miles per hour in a school zone;

and by now, you are wondering if maybe your ooey-gooey, 

glue and glitter, craft paper love is unable to be received and reciprocated. 

But know this:

Love will arrive when love is meant to. 

And when it does, it will come crashing into you 

like a tidal wave from somewhere you’ve never been. 

It will rain into your skin with the texture of salt water taffy– 

waxy and heavy and delicious. 

And it will bring you Grand Canyon air, 

and when it does, you will fear how far the fall is 

from the sedimentary rocks. You will fear the drop 

and the way your heart once climbed out of your own chest 

and forfeited itself onto your beaten up shoes.  

But this time, when love plants a kiss upon your forehead, 

know it is the truth. 

Mina Foutch is a writer and college student from Hagerstown, Maryland, that enjoys expressing her mind in stories, poems and songs by diving into the grime of reality. She has also been previously published in magazines such as HeARTbreaker Mag and Suburban Rose Mag and is in the process of crafting a poetry chapbook. Known for her raw emotions and nitty gritty details, she flourishes in the art, and hopes you are left with an aftertaste of her work. 

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